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Charisma Expert: From Awkward
Eye Contact to Visionary

Posted by Jason Epstein on

Eye Contact

We’re going to dive right into an exclusive tip from our free ebook, The Charisma Checklist: 8 Tips To Be The Most Admired Person in Any Room. Click here to gain full access.
Humans have evolved to be on a constant search for situations that can cause harm to us, or bestow us with great benefits. To see these potential positives and negatives to our very existence, our eyes naturally shift during social interaction. Keeping no-shift eye contact signifies calm and confidence (which, if you’ve been following, are indicative of charisma) while being shifty-eyed is, how we do we say this nicely? Sketchy as hell.


People love it when you pay attention to them, but eye contact is tough for some because maintaining it can feel very exposing - like you are making direct contact with each other’s inner thoughts. Just a moment of locking eyes can mean so much. Why? Because the eyes are the focal point of the face - the very first place you make contact with. It’s how you decide whether to proceed or withdraw. Focus on the following:


Don’t break it.

Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean you should break eye contact too often. Take a pause while you think about what to say or do and maintain eye contact to create some good ol’ tension, keeping them on the edge of their seat waiting to see what happens.


Make it with everyone.

Eye contact has a certain ethereal quality to it. When you make it with someone (no, not in that way), there’s an intimacy regardless of your actual feelings. As such, when you’re among a group there’s no easier way to say “you matter less” than withholding eye contact. So let everyone know they matter by giving every last person you can the benefit of that deep, soul-affirming eye contact to make them feel equally important.


Show them who you are.

Charismatic eye contact conveys a strong impression of who you are and what you’re capable of. It also offers a host of benefits to the receiver: reassurance, respect, understanding, appreciation, and friendliness. And it portrays the giver as sociable, honest, confident, and reliable, among other warm attributes.





Jason Epstein is a nationally published and distinguished thought leader in charismatic behavior. He has written for numerous publications including Askmen.com, Brobible.com and MadeMan.com.


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